This week the part of sous chef will be played by Addy
Friday, August 24, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves
Did you just have a little Cher moment... I knew you would... you're welcome.
Gypsies: One of my guilty pleasures, My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding. I don't care what you think about the people, I don't care what you think about "reality" TV, and I don't care what you think about TLC. I know the show is scripted, I know their portrayal of these people is less than accurate and I know the dresses and life style are insane.... but I just can't stop watching!
Tramps = Short for Trampoline
Trampoline Translated to Trampolina = how you say Trampoline when you think you are speaking Spanish *(Trampoline in Spanish is actuallyTrampolin)
Trampolina = Gasolina
Gasolina = My car
My Car = the place those B*****ds stole my wallet, phone and checkbook last week.
** Aren't you glad you just spent the last minute and a half of your life trying to follow that train of thought?
Thieves: NO GOOD DIRTY LOW DOWN ROTTEN JERKS! And all they really got was a book of checks that they have apparently been using between here and San Antonio, which will eventually get them caught thanks to online banking and my phone. This is one of those times when I'm really glad that we don't have any credit cards, minimal bank accounts, few assets and trashed credit. All those idiots are gonna get when they try to use my info is "DECLINED", "DECLINED", "DECLINED".
Attention Morons: You ripped off the wrong chick. I'm just as poor as you are. All I have that you don't have is morals and sense.You probably could have saved yourself the trouble if you had just looked at the car you were breaking into. Hmmm, older model GMC, dented on the side, door panel and locking mechanism broken, Wal-Mart brand purse, Wal-Mart brand wallet and a 10 year old torn pleather checkbook cover. Yep you hit the jackpot alright! And now you have trespassed, burgled, committed fraud and theft not only from me, but from my bank and the several merchants you wrote bad checks to and signed my name and P.S. YOU SUCK!
*** This concludes today rant, you will now be returned to your scheduled programing ***
Gypsies: One of my guilty pleasures, My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding. I don't care what you think about the people, I don't care what you think about "reality" TV, and I don't care what you think about TLC. I know the show is scripted, I know their portrayal of these people is less than accurate and I know the dresses and life style are insane.... but I just can't stop watching!
Tramps = Short for Trampoline
Trampoline Translated to Trampolina = how you say Trampoline when you think you are speaking Spanish *(Trampoline in Spanish is actuallyTrampolin)
Trampolina = Gasolina
Gasolina = My car
My Car = the place those B*****ds stole my wallet, phone and checkbook last week.
** Aren't you glad you just spent the last minute and a half of your life trying to follow that train of thought?
Thieves: NO GOOD DIRTY LOW DOWN ROTTEN JERKS! And all they really got was a book of checks that they have apparently been using between here and San Antonio, which will eventually get them caught thanks to online banking and my phone. This is one of those times when I'm really glad that we don't have any credit cards, minimal bank accounts, few assets and trashed credit. All those idiots are gonna get when they try to use my info is "DECLINED", "DECLINED", "DECLINED".
Attention Morons: You ripped off the wrong chick. I'm just as poor as you are. All I have that you don't have is morals and sense.You probably could have saved yourself the trouble if you had just looked at the car you were breaking into. Hmmm, older model GMC, dented on the side, door panel and locking mechanism broken, Wal-Mart brand purse, Wal-Mart brand wallet and a 10 year old torn pleather checkbook cover. Yep you hit the jackpot alright! And now you have trespassed, burgled, committed fraud and theft not only from me, but from my bank and the several merchants you wrote bad checks to and signed my name and P.S. YOU SUCK!
*** This concludes today rant, you will now be returned to your scheduled programing ***
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Pantry Raid: Week 1 Recap - The day the Meal Plan Died.
Week 1 has come and gone (I'm behind on my posting if you hadn't noticed) and it was definitely a learning experience. An emotional, time strapped, circus of a learning experience.
Everything started out great. Monday the weather had cooled down a little and I made veggie beef soup as scheduled. It was yummy and we had tons of left overs. Tuesday was our anniversary, so the in-laws took the kids and we went out to dinner. (This was a planned exception, included in the budget ahead of time).
Wednesday, I was still on top of things. Boiled the pasta early in the day so it could cool and had all my ingredients ready and dinner went off without a hitch. Thursday... another easy day. Poached the chicken and put bread in the bread maker during my lunch break and everything was ready right on time.
Friday was kind of a cheat day since we had a ton of left over ribs, baked potatoes and corn on the cob from my parent house. Saturday was busy busy busy. Woke up, showered, picked up the house and had just enough time to put the beans and sausage in the crock pot before rushing out the door for the next 7 hours. But by the time I got home, the whole house smelled delicious, add some rice and DONE.
Then there was Sunday. Oh Sunday, what happened to us? We used to be such good friends. It was the day we spent time together as a family, got errands run and focused on preparing for the week ahead. Sunday and me.. we was like peas and carrots. But those days are gone.
Even God rested on the Sabbath... and boy did I need to follow His lead, but instead my day started out with my kids getting up at 7am. Then there was the design disaster that had me texting "HELP" to my fellow seamstress at 9am. After losing all of Saturday to other activities I was trying to make up for lost time and work on the wedding dress I'm making for my sister in law before she came over for a fitting that afternoon. (Disclaimer: she has come up with a beautiful design... I was just having trouble making it a reality). Then came The Great Wardrobe Debate of 2012. My 7 year old always wants to wear her sequins and lace when riding her bike or going to play at the park. Then when it comes time to get dressed for church she comes out in denim shorts, an orange t-shirt with a turkey face appliqued on it and pink flip flops. And where is my dear sweet husband during all of this... yep, sleeping. WHAT THE POO MAN!
Church done, we are back home and my bestest friend/ fellow seamstress has agreed to come over to be my wedding dress design cheerleader, fitting is scheduled at 3pm, put dear sweet husband in charge of lunch for the kiddos, I make a mental note to defrost the ham and make pie crust this afternoon for dinner. After an hour or so of fighting with satin and lace we end up ordering a pizza for the adults lunch. Downed a couple pieces then its back to Project Runway: The Home Edition and dear sweet husband informs me he has to run an errand. Sister in-law and niece show up for dress fitting, make another mental note to defrost the ham and make pie crust as soon as the fitting is done. In the midst of the fitting my 3 year old doesn't quite make it to the potty and I find her half naked standing in a puddle in the middle of the bathroom, right after discovering that I have cut the wedding dress bodice nearly 4 inches to narrow and have to start over. By this time I need to just get away so sis in-law and I go to Joann's to buy fabric for the kids flower girl dresses (which I will also be making). We get there and I realize I never did defrost the ham or make the pie crust for dinner and it's already almost 6pm. I call home and instruct dear sweet husband to feed the kids left over pizza and I'll be home after my scheduled Sunday night grocery shopping trip. Down an entire package of Rolo's on the way to grocery shop and try to enjoy the few minutes of peace, quiet and alone time. Cart loaded, was able to find everything I need and in record time, so I swing past the deli and give dear sweet husband a call and this is how our conversation goes.....
Me: (in a hopeful tone) Hey almost done getting groceries, how does a rotisserie chicken, french bread and green beans sound for dinner
DSH: It sounds like to much work and to much money. What about your meal plan. You're the one who had this master plan and keeps saying we can't spend money. We'll just eat left overs.
Me: I Know I Know! Whatever.
Click.
Thanks to a diet of sugar and grease, an overloaded plate of activities, my house resembling grand central station and my hormones disrupted by a glitch in my birth control prescription, I lost it. And there I was standing in the produce section of Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market crying because he said not to buy the chicken. And all I wanted was chicken.
After moping the whole way home over the loss of the chicken, I proceeded to yell at the kids over the mess I came home to, cry while doing the dishes, cry while picking up the house again and yell at the kids again.
The night concluded with dear sweet husband buying me Chicken Express for dinner and us vegging out in front of the TV.
Chaos: 1
Meal Plan: 0
Everything started out great. Monday the weather had cooled down a little and I made veggie beef soup as scheduled. It was yummy and we had tons of left overs. Tuesday was our anniversary, so the in-laws took the kids and we went out to dinner. (This was a planned exception, included in the budget ahead of time).
Wednesday, I was still on top of things. Boiled the pasta early in the day so it could cool and had all my ingredients ready and dinner went off without a hitch. Thursday... another easy day. Poached the chicken and put bread in the bread maker during my lunch break and everything was ready right on time.
Friday was kind of a cheat day since we had a ton of left over ribs, baked potatoes and corn on the cob from my parent house. Saturday was busy busy busy. Woke up, showered, picked up the house and had just enough time to put the beans and sausage in the crock pot before rushing out the door for the next 7 hours. But by the time I got home, the whole house smelled delicious, add some rice and DONE.
Then there was Sunday. Oh Sunday, what happened to us? We used to be such good friends. It was the day we spent time together as a family, got errands run and focused on preparing for the week ahead. Sunday and me.. we was like peas and carrots. But those days are gone.
Even God rested on the Sabbath... and boy did I need to follow His lead, but instead my day started out with my kids getting up at 7am. Then there was the design disaster that had me texting "HELP" to my fellow seamstress at 9am. After losing all of Saturday to other activities I was trying to make up for lost time and work on the wedding dress I'm making for my sister in law before she came over for a fitting that afternoon. (Disclaimer: she has come up with a beautiful design... I was just having trouble making it a reality). Then came The Great Wardrobe Debate of 2012. My 7 year old always wants to wear her sequins and lace when riding her bike or going to play at the park. Then when it comes time to get dressed for church she comes out in denim shorts, an orange t-shirt with a turkey face appliqued on it and pink flip flops. And where is my dear sweet husband during all of this... yep, sleeping. WHAT THE POO MAN!
Church done, we are back home and my bestest friend/ fellow seamstress has agreed to come over to be my wedding dress design cheerleader, fitting is scheduled at 3pm, put dear sweet husband in charge of lunch for the kiddos, I make a mental note to defrost the ham and make pie crust this afternoon for dinner. After an hour or so of fighting with satin and lace we end up ordering a pizza for the adults lunch. Downed a couple pieces then its back to Project Runway: The Home Edition and dear sweet husband informs me he has to run an errand. Sister in-law and niece show up for dress fitting, make another mental note to defrost the ham and make pie crust as soon as the fitting is done. In the midst of the fitting my 3 year old doesn't quite make it to the potty and I find her half naked standing in a puddle in the middle of the bathroom, right after discovering that I have cut the wedding dress bodice nearly 4 inches to narrow and have to start over. By this time I need to just get away so sis in-law and I go to Joann's to buy fabric for the kids flower girl dresses (which I will also be making). We get there and I realize I never did defrost the ham or make the pie crust for dinner and it's already almost 6pm. I call home and instruct dear sweet husband to feed the kids left over pizza and I'll be home after my scheduled Sunday night grocery shopping trip. Down an entire package of Rolo's on the way to grocery shop and try to enjoy the few minutes of peace, quiet and alone time. Cart loaded, was able to find everything I need and in record time, so I swing past the deli and give dear sweet husband a call and this is how our conversation goes.....
Me: (in a hopeful tone) Hey almost done getting groceries, how does a rotisserie chicken, french bread and green beans sound for dinner
DSH: It sounds like to much work and to much money. What about your meal plan. You're the one who had this master plan and keeps saying we can't spend money. We'll just eat left overs.
Me: I Know I Know! Whatever.
Click.
Thanks to a diet of sugar and grease, an overloaded plate of activities, my house resembling grand central station and my hormones disrupted by a glitch in my birth control prescription, I lost it. And there I was standing in the produce section of Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market crying because he said not to buy the chicken. And all I wanted was chicken.
After moping the whole way home over the loss of the chicken, I proceeded to yell at the kids over the mess I came home to, cry while doing the dishes, cry while picking up the house again and yell at the kids again.
The night concluded with dear sweet husband buying me Chicken Express for dinner and us vegging out in front of the TV.
Chaos: 1
Meal Plan: 0
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